The meaning of Isti'faf, is it really just about avoiding adultery? - Interpreting the isti'faf commandment like this is important, so that the alternative to avoiding adultery is not just getting married.

ISLAMLIBRARY | In Surah an-Nur (QS. 24: 33), Allah Swt asks those who are not yet able to marry to take care of themselves (isti'faf). Then it is often only interpreted as staying away from adultery, in order to be clean from sin ('afif and 'afifah). Protecting oneself from adultery is important and obligatory, but interpreting the isti'faf command only to abstain from adultery is incomplete. Why?

A perspective on the relationship between men and women which is limited to the sexual dimension will influence the meaning of various ethical recommendations in that relationship, such as the commandment of isti'faf. In fact, the dimensions of the relationship between men and women are broad and not limited to sexual. Marriage, which is an alternative to isti'taf, does not always have a sexual dimension.

So, by considering various dimensions of the broad relationship between men and women, especially in the social realm, we can propose the meaning of isti'faf in the moral framework of mubjadi relations. This broad dimension of relationships can be a space for the implementation of texts related to relationship morals and good manners.

With the moral framework of mubjadi relations, the meaning of isti'faf is not exclusive to, but also includes, matters of a sexual-physical nature.

Interpreting isti'faf as stated in the Qur'an (QS. An-Nur, 24: 33) by avoiding adultery, is of course relevant in the literal context of this verse. However, this does not have to be the only meaning. Because adultery can still occur when a person is already in a marriage relationship, where he is still ordered to isti'faf.

Especially when referring to the original meaning of this sentence. That is, distancing oneself from everything that is haram, and adorning oneself with contentment with that which is halal. With this original meaning, if we place it on the morals of relationships, between two parties, men and women, then the command of isti'faf can reach more fundamental things.

Namely, that the commandment of isti'faf is about the relationship between praiseworthy morals (mahmudah) and avoiding despicable morals (madzmumah). Namely self-discipline in relationships so that they are constructive and not destructive. What is destructive are all relationships that lead to evil, injustice, ugliness and sin, including adultery. Constructive are all relationships that lead to goodness and benefit. Including healthy and mutually strengthening marital relationships.

A person who practices isti'faf, usually referred to as 'afif (men) and 'afifah (women), is someone who has a commendable character in relations between the sexes, is not hegemonic, is not dominative, and does not trap or condition other people. on sins, such as sexual violence and adultery. Both in social relations before and outside marriage, as well as in legal relations between married couples.

The person who commits adultery is of course not 'afif (male) and not 'afifah (female). Apart from that, a man who vents his lust for his wife, through violence and harm, even during marriage, is also a morally unafif (clean, pure, or healthy) relationship. Meanwhile, women who are victims of rape outside of marriage cannot be considered not 'afifah, just because the sexual relationship occurred outside of marriage.

Interpreting the isti'faf command like this is important so that the alternative to avoiding adultery is not just getting married. Moreover, the marriage relationship is actually painful. Avoiding adultery means not committing adultery, which can be done through various positive activities, ranging from worship, study, social work, sports, and many others.

Likewise, Ghaddul Bashar's command , in the context of related morals, is not submission to the physical eye. But rather control over the way we view other people, especially women: so that we are not limited to sexual creatures/objects.

Even if the eyes are lowered, if a person's perspective on the opposite sex is still limited to sexual objects, then he may still think about looking for opportunities to engage in sexual activity. Including coercion and violence. This is why even women who have covered their intimate parts are still victims of sexual violence and rape.

However, if the way he views other people, especially women as whole human beings, has intellectual, social and even spiritual dimensions, then he will relate to them as full subjects of life. Namely respecting, appreciating, working together and protecting and strengthening each other in goodness and piety, as well as avoiding each other from all sin and evil.

By getting used to ghaddul bashar regarding controlling one's perspective like this, a person will easily discipline themselves in dealing with mahumdah morals. Not being a madzmumah, being a man who is 'afif and a woman who is 'afifah.

The perspective on the relationship between men and women which is limited to the sexual dimension also influences the meaning of various ethical recommendations in that relationship.

For example, we often understand the recommendation for isti'faf only as self-purity from adultery. Namely by avoiding all physical meetings with the opposite sex. We interpret Ghaddul Bashar as submission to the physical eyes of the opposite sex; and we encourage fasting to reduce sexual desire.

However, if you consider the various dimensions of relations between men and women which are so broad, especially in the social realm, then the meaning of the things mentioned above must be within the framework of relational morals. This broad dimension of relations, as has been emphasized, is real. Which has a precedent during the time of the Prophet SAW, and is a space for the implementation of texts related to morals, relationships and manners.

With the framework of relational morals in a broader dimension, the meaning of isti'faf and ghaddul bashar is not exclusive to, but also includes, things of a physical nature. In fact, when you are in a marital relationship, which is sexually halal, the two terms isti'faf and ghaddul bashar still have relevant meanings for strengthening that relationship.

As discussed in tafsir and fiqh, the command of isti'faf is stated in the Qur'an (QS. An-Nur, 24: 33) for people who are not yet able to marry. Therefore, the mainstream interpretation of this sentence is to discipline oneself so as not to fall into adultery. This meaning is of course relevant in the literal context of this verse.

However, this does not have to be the only meaning. Because adultery can still occur when someone is already in a marital relationship. Even though he was still ordered to isti'faf. Especially when referring to the original meaning of this sentence.

That is, distancing oneself from everything that is haram, and adorning oneself with contentment with that which is halal. With this original meaning, if we place it on the morals of relationships, between two parties, men and women, then the command of isti'faf can reach more fundamental things.

In the context of relations between men and women with a wider dimension, the commandment of isti'faf is about relationships with commendable morals (mahmudah) and avoiding despicable morals (madzmumah). Namely self-discipline in relationships so that they are constructive and not destructive.

Where destructive are all relationships that lead to crime, injustice, ugliness and sin, including adultery. Constructive are all relationships that lead to goodness and benefit. Including healthy and mutually strengthening marital relationships.

"Someone who observes isti'faf, we usually call 'afif (male) and 'afifah (female). Both of them have commendable character in relations between the sexes. Namely, it is not hegemonic, not dominative, and does not trap or condition other people to sin, such as sexual violence and adultery. Both in social relations before and outside marriage, as well as family relations within the marriage bond."

Likewise, Ghaddul Bashar's command, in the context of relational morals, is not submission to the physical eye, but control over the way we view other people, especially women: so that they are not limited to sexual creatures/objects.

Even if the eyes are lowered, if a person's perspective on the opposite sex is still limited to sexual objects then he may still think about looking for opportunities to engage in sexual activity, including through force and violence. This is why even women who have covered their intimate parts are still victims of sexual violence and rape.

However, if his perspective towards other people, especially women as whole human beings, has intellectual, social and even spiritual dimensions, then he will relate to them as full subjects of life: respecting, appreciating, working together and looking after and strengthening each other in goodness and piety, and avoid each other from all sin and evil.

By getting used to ghaddul bashar related to controlling one's perspective like this, a person will easily discipline themselves in relating to mahumdah, not madzmumah, morals, becoming an 'afif man and an 'afifah woman.

The recommendation for fasting is also the same. Even though this recommendation appears in the context of someone who is not yet able to marry. (Sahih al-Bukhari, no. hadith: 5120). But it shouldn't just stop at giving up eating and drinking to reduce sexual desire. Because for people who are married, even if they fast during the day, they are still allowed to have sexual relations at night.

This means that fasting is not necessary, or not specifically, to control sexual desire. Moreover, if it refers to other hadiths (Sahih al-Bukhari, no. hadith: 1937). Fasting also spiritually aims to discipline a person so that they are able to control themselves from bad relationships with other people, both verbal evil (qawl az-zur) and actions ('amal az-zur).

With this meaning, the recommendation to fast is also a spiritual practice for someone to hone their character. The goal is to have easy relationship morals, throw away all madzmumah relationship morals, have a perspective that is dignified, fair and beneficial. Apart from that, inviting and realizing all the good things in life, as well as avoiding and rejecting all the bad things.

With this moral framework, all the commandments of isti'faf, ghaddul bashar, and fasting are relevant to strengthening one's own character and the character of relationships. Both before marriage, during marriage, and after marriage.